With in a couple of months the year of 2013 ended with along with our first semester. I was living my transitional life that time. I wished to love my students’s  life and forget the teachers’s life. But it was impossible because I saw my students everyday. Some still talked to me. Some avoided me. Except with a very few, talking was the beginning and end of our relationship. Beyond that smile at seeing, wishing a good morning or good afternoon, I realized that our relationship didn’t grow. Our intimacy was too little. That was in turn, much significantly lower, with the girls. Girls were more in number in my class due to the lack of compulsory attendance and its  subsequent result of absence of boys.

But as days progressed, the boys who were small in number turned to better with me than the girls who were big in number but of no use to me and me of any use for them. Never a girl came to me for a favour. Nor I went to a girl for favour. But more than once boys asked me something, more than once I asked them something. Nothing big yet, but at least a bike to go to the hostel or near by bank, some money to roll for two three days. Leave everything, a coffee at the canteen. These were all possible with only boys. I could take two or three boys along with me to the canteen and with the tea or coffee have a discussion about their studies or other stuffs happening inside the campus, but if I took two or three girls to the canteen, then the discussion would be done not by us but by the campus, and later by those two three girls regarding my intentions in taking them there. I knew this fact when one of my students told me certain other facts meaning almost same as this.

That’s the curse with our college. No male teacher gets a female student here. The only thing he can expect to get from his students is admiration and erotic love. If he takes his class with formal dress, serious look and not so bad teaching abilities, all girls will like him, some girls will admire him, some will develop a crush on him. I had heard that a few years ago a girl used to call and send messages to a middle aged professor in our department which broke some of the limits.

That’s all fine because it can happen in any college. But what makes the situation dangerous is not that there is love affairs happening but that there is nothing else happening. No girl student has a relationship with any male teacher. There can be respect in her mind, and love in his. But those two things never combines and forms a good relationship ever. I haven’t seen a male teacher and a female student walking together in the campus. It is an age old belief that at any campus, girls are at their best ages so that the teachers live controlling their emotions. It is true that they are not saints. But it is also true that they are not hedonists either. They are in fact afraid of the girls. Later once it was so chanced, one professor from another department revealed to me a fact, which I no more call a secret that he doesn’t encourage girls in his staff room after four o’clock in the evening. Especially alone. I won’t complain him. He is absolutely right. The situation is so bad here.

The other side of it, we need not have to discuss. The relationship between lady teacher and male students. There the teachers themselves don’t want any change. They just want a happy satisfied life. They don’t wish to get into any trouble.

While I was teacher, I didn’t care any of these issue because I was so happy to think anything philosophical. I had my happy life, there were my students, loving me before and behind, standing up whenever they see me, giving me seats while inside the college bus, and much more. Now also the they see me, but hey don’t look up when they see me looking for seats inside the bus. I’m happy if they at least smiles to me. It’s my fault, I know. Seeing all this, I get now time to think about reasons behind these incidents in detail and arrive at some revelations.

Among all the revelations, this is the best I got. That my relationship with female students won’t go beyond a smile and good morning. And it would in the other way if I tried to make it any better. Hence with a sad heart, I took one decision to do away with those smiles and good mornings which are meaningless and a waste of time. I quit smiling to them. I began avoiding them. Now what was left with me were a couple of boys, whom I hadn’t seen much in class but only during the time of tour or any cultural functions conducted at our college.

This is what I learned while analysing the love between a student and teacher. But on analysing the same in an erotic level, the lessons I learned were even more beautiful. Though there was nothing in it, there was a beautiful love story which some of my students had prepared for me. They wanted fun. Knowing that vert well, I too took part in it. But, the consequences of that weren’t so fun to me.